The daily life of Waluigi
“You sure you don’t wahnt to come, Waluigi?” Wario asked, eating is breakfast garlic.
“Not today, bro. It’s Wednesday,” Waluigi replied, giving a silent prayer for Waluigi Wednesday. “Besides, I was never hired full time.”
“Suit yourself, the Smash Bros fights are pretty fun to watch,” Wario replied, hopping on his motorcycle and speeding off to his Final Destination.
Waluigi looked sadly at the clock. Another day, another coin. He could hardly keep up with rent, and his friends constantly cajoled him into going into parties, races, sports, and other such things. He could call his good friend Sakurai again to get a stable job as a Smash Bro, but last time he tried that, he was told:
“Never ask me for anything again.” And then Sakurai gave another Fire Emblem character a place in Smash Bros.
He looked at the newspaper on the table today.
A literal Plant has been hired for Smash Bros!
“Waht about me?” he whispered to no one in particular.
He grabbed his tongs and keys and hopped into his kart. It was time to go make the big money. He rolled up to his Taco Stand and was greeted by a mob of Goombas waiting to have their orders filled.
“I want a taco with everything!” the one in front of the line asked.
Waluigi ran off to go collect the ingredients. He always took the time to wonder where Goombas would put their money while he handled this. He found a taco shell in Wiggler’s house, which he promptly robbed. He found that a Shy Guy had lettuce, so he murdered him and took it for himself.
He returned to the stand, offering Goomba his taco. He was promptly paid a meager price for the effort he went through and went on to the next order. Today, he found himself daydreaming. Why should he stay here? There was nothing for him at this dead-end job. So what if he didn’t cover rent, what’s the worst the landlord could do to him? Evict him? Not if he ran away first. To the sea.
Yes, the open ocean. A limitless world at the helm of his ship. He could do it. Heck, with a few modifications to the stand, he could make it into a raft. And sail to his heart’s greedy content.
“Can I have a taco with beef and cheese, please?” a Koopa asked him.
“Waht? Get out of here, I’m closed,” he answered, slamming his shutters. Today was the day he would do it. No longer would he look out and ponder what other life he could live. He would claim it for himself. Waluigi and his Sea of Greed.