A human is selected for intergalactic jury duty.
We had been in the jury room deliberating for hours now. Syphr vs. Planet Omichas. Right now Hynekin, some dog-looking man with really long ears was talking. The silence spheres were over the rest of us, making it impossible for any of us to cut him off by yelling. My translation device was set to a male British accent whenever he spoke:
“I just think that he does have grounds for self-defense when Commander Yin distinctly told him that he would — and I quote — ‘murder you and all of you sorry Revinchers if you don’t comply, Syphr.’” His ears shrugged and he sat down. The silence spheres dissipated as the rest of us took a moment to digest what he had just said.
For the record, the fact was the Siphr — or whatever his name was — had annihilated the planet of Omichron because he was afraid that Commander Yen would kill his entire species if he didn’t join the war to fight against the Qubers. I, myself, had just gotten out of a panic attack when I realized that this wasn’t a prank show and I was really in the middle of the “Neutral Jabroas Solar System” for this trial. The worst part was that our decision was to determine whether Siphr was right in destroying that planet, or if his entire species should be destroyed for noncompliance of the… the something treaty. I’m sure it’s clear I have no idea what’s going on, but they have given me a profound amount of respect because the last time a human was called they spoke only in guttural sounds.
An ape-thing, I think his name was Ush, smashed his fist on the table (which apparently was a sign of deliberation on his home planet) and pointed at me with a meaty finger. Without activating the silence spheres he said in a strangely French female accent,
“I think we should have the human speak, he has yet to release his mind.”
I probably would have laughed at his voice again had I not just been called out to speak. He gestured to my activation device and I turned the silence spheres on to have everyone’s undivided attention. I stood up, feeling the sweat slide down my spine and took in a breath, looking over the heads of most of the creatures in front of me.
“What we have is a deliberate breach of intergalactic treaty.” Boy did I sound confident, Hynekin’s immense ears raised in anticipation of a rebuttal to what he said. “Syphr has no insanity plea, and as a result acted on his own accord. What he heard from Commander…” I waited for someone to remind me, then realized that the spheres were active and I was on my own, “…Yin may have been true, but did not allow for an unprecedented use of the Blaff Cannon.” A few heads skewed towards their translators, probably blaming the device for my mispronunciation of whatever the cannon was called.
“He was acting out of personal ill will towards the Omchian race if he decided to go into the arsenal without confiding in anyone other than his mother on the planned assault. It’s clear that he holds some sort of grudge against the species as a whole, but without the backing of the military, he should have had no right to act as judge, jury, and executioner for Yin’s threat.”
These Earth cliche’s seemed to please the aliens a lot, and a few were nodding in agreement now. I was on a roll!
“While Syphr acted for the greater good of the race, he refused to acknowledge the impact that he would inevitably cause on the intergalactic ecosystem as seen by the loss of Imperio trade in the entire galaxy. He has singlehandedly destroyed a necessary commodity for…” I didn’t know the name of his species so I just pointed at the floating ball thing, “his entire species!!” I think the ball rolled in a passionate agreement.
“While I agree that all of this is still up to debate, I still stand by the argument that Syphr was feigning ignorance of the ramifications of his actions and destroyed a planet out of pure spite.” I sat down in my chair and deactivated the silence sphere.
The Medusa-looking lady stood up and said in a translated voice identical to my own:
“I think we have heard enough to vote again. Please think of your votes now.”
I closed my eyes and imagined the word guilty.
I opened my eyes to see the score floating in the center of the table. A unanimous agreement that he was guilty. But below that, it said something else. I squinted and it said Human in fine print. I started shaking and sweating again as the ball floated over to me.
“Congratulations, Human,” it whispered in a sensual teenage girl’s voice, “you get to deliver the verdict.”
I relaxed a little and got up to the exit chamber. In there were two buttons, a guilty and not guilty one. I looked back, and my fellow jurors who nodded at me with encouragement. I slammed the guilty button.
Suddenly, a window opened and I was looking out to a planet. A green glow was captured around it. The other jurors gathered around me in awe.
“What planet’s that?” I asked.
“Syphr’s.” Someone replied, “You just fired the Bleff Cannon at it.”
I watched, horrified, as the planet began disintegrating.